String of Unread University Books

Hey blogosphere! *waves excitedly* Now that my university has broken up for the Christmas break, I've sat down and counted how many of my semester one books I have not read. Guys, it is not pretty...

.... Out of 35 books, I've officially read 23. Read 'em and weep.

Let me just start off saying that as an English Literature student, I study four modules. This means that on average I have to read four separate books a week unless one book is studied for two weeks. I know I should start them one or two weeks earlier - scratch that, I should have started in the summer - but my New Year's Resolution is exactly to do that. It's just that I try to read on the days that I'm not in university but my mum is currently very ill and not having my grandma around anymore means that she's often alone to do things at home. The perks (according to my mum) of living so close to university is that I can help her so that's where most of my free time is dedicated. I Rest My Case!

Since my books for semester two are still in transit, I'm going to try and finish some of the books pictured above.

1) Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte: Part of my Victorian Fictions module but I previously studied this for my A-Level English Literature coursework so I didn't feel like I needed to re-read it. This is an amazing book about poor and plain Jane Eyre's journey from an orphan growing up in a hostile family then later a corrupt boarding school for girls to an independent governess who softens the stoic heart of Mr Rochester. It's a beautiful classic and one to re-read again and again.

2) Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte: Studied this in week 1 of Victorian Fictions and I really wish I had started it before. It was fascinating to explore the relationship between Heathcliffe and Catherine and to see how this isn't just a love story but one with bitterness and greed and jealousy. I will definitely finish this!

3) Bleak House, Charles Dickens: Urgh. Just urgh. 200 pages was the furthest I went into this 740 paged monster. You just read more and more, trying to consume the pages and it becomes even less enjoyable. It's meant to be this huge commentary on the hypocrisy and futility of the Chancery court using the case of Jarndyce vs. Jarndyce hence why so many characters are introduced but you're just left with a great headache. To this day, I still have no idea what the bloody hell the case is about! That said, I did prefer Esther's narrative over the omniscient third person narrator's but I don't plan on finishing it anytime soon because just imagine trying to write an essay on that?

4) Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie: My baby. I will definitely finish this because it's the first text I've studied in my 'Post Colonial and Global Literature' module based on post-colonial India. Rushdie implements magical realism into this important historical narrative to highlight the difficulty in creating a new identity for India and its neighbours after the British finally leave. It's such a deliciously complex book that's so well written you can't help just pausing and thinking "damn".

5) The Moonstone, Wilkie Collins: This is another one that I am definitely finishing because I LOVE IT. It's a sensational crime mystery about the Koh-I-Noor diamond but what I love about it is the voice of the head butler who narrates the case to the reader. He's really witty, knows which characters to confide in and I can just imagine him hobbling around the house of his mistress's with his walking stick. Cute stuff.

6) Vanity Fair, William Thackeray: I honestly knew I was never going to finish reading this beast even if I studied it for two weeks. I just watched the 2004 movie adaptation. Like Bleak House, this novel is a commentary on society. It follows the journey of clever Becky Sharp in her rise to power and affluence using first, employment and later, marriage. It questions whether you blame the opportunist or the society that makes opportunism necessary. Unlike Bleak House however, Thackeray's writing is SO much more enjoyable and wittier so it'll be one for the summer holidays I think.

***How about you guys? Any books that you couldn't get into or just could not complete? I'd love to know why so I don't feel like the worst example of a literature student.***

Thank you for reading!

Rima

December Book Haul

Ooh look at this! A new blogpost within one week. Maybe I really have matured and started taking up the responsibility of regular posts now that I'm a twenty year old fledgling.

This is my book haul and reading list for December. There was a point during November where I was tired of looking at my university books so I annoyed my dad into buying me books for the Christmas holiday. I plan to wind down with some young adult fiction, romances and medieval epics whilst wrapped in bed and stuffing my face with chocolates from the neighbours.

A quick blurb of each book from Goodreads and why I bought them is below:

1) An Ember in the Ashes, Sabaa Tahir

"Under the Martial Empire, defiance is met with death. Those who do not vow their blood and bodies to the Emperor risk the execution of their loved ones and the destruction of all they hold dear.

It is in this brutal world, inspired by ancient Rome, that Laia lives with her grandparents and older brother. The family ekes out an existence in the Empire’s impoverished backstreets. They do not challenge the Empire. They’ve seen what happens to those who do.

But when Laia’s brother is arrested for treason, Laia is forced to make a decision. In exchange for help from rebels who promise to rescue her brother, she will risk her life to spy for them from within the Empire’s greatest military academy.

I'll admit with both hands in the air that I bought this for the cover. Isn't it gorgeous?! You're lying if you say no. Anyways, my friend Aleema and I wanted to buddy read something and this book was catapulted to the top of our list based on the hype around it. You should check out Aleema's Instagram: she's based in England like me and her feed is all things jaw-dropping and fluffy. 

2) Me Before You, Jojo Moyes

"Lou Clark knows lots of things. She knows how many footsteps there are between the bus stop and home. She knows she likes working in The Buttered Bun tea shop and she knows she might not love her boyfriend Patrick.

What Lou doesn't know is she's about to lose her job or that knowing what's coming is what keeps her sane.

Will Traynor knows his motorcycle accident took away his desire to live. He knows everything feels very small and rather joyless now and he knows exactly how he's going to put a stop to that.

What Will doesn't know is that Lou is about to burst into his world in a riot of colour. And neither of them knows they're going to change the other for all time."

I've been recommended to read this by several Instagram friends because it's a tear jerker. It's Christmas time. It's cold outside but it's warm inside. I'm totally in the mood for a tear jerker. Being a typical bibliophile, my "to-be-read" is too embarrassing to count but what made me buy this is because the movie adaptation is going to be released in June 2016 starring Hunger Games and Love, Rosie's Sam Claflin and Game of Thrones' Emilia Clarke. Yes please.


3) Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith

"“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”

So begins Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, an expanded edition of the beloved Jane Austen novel featuring all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie mayhem. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she’s soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield. Can Elizabeth vanquish the spawn of Satan? And overcome the social prejudices of the class-conscious landed gentry? Complete with romance, heartbreak, swordfights, cannibalism, and thousands of rotting corpses, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies transforms a masterpiece of world literature into something you’d actually want to read."

I first saw this book years ago in WHSmith and was shocked that someone would dare parody Jane Austen's classic. Recently I heard that it was adapted for the big screen and is to be released in February 2016 starring BBC's Great Expectations, Romeo and Juliet and Riot Club's Douglas Booth and Downton Abbey and Cinderella's Lily James. Being a sucker for movies with my favourite actors I knew I had to read the book. Noticing a pattern here? The things I do for my baes really belongs in a separate blogpost...

4) The History of the World in Bite-sized Chunks, Emma Marriott

"History is a rich, varied and fascinating subject, so it's rare to find the whole lot in one book...until now. "The History of the World in Bite-Sized Chunks" pulls it all together, from the world's earliest civilizations in 3500 BC to the founding of the United Nations in 1945, passing by the likes of Charlemagne, the Ottoman Empire and the Crimean War, to name a few. Here's your chance to introduce yourself to the full spectrum of world history, and discover just how the modern world came to be."

This would have been bought weeks ago when I saw it perched on the counter in Picadilly's Waterstones but it was £15 and I told myself to calm down and to think rationally. The whole time while I was paying for the books in my hand, I was trying to fathom the awesomeness of this book. The whole history of the world written in one tiny book? *Mind blown* Anyways, watching BBC Two's The Last Kingdom has made me wish I knew more of the Viking-Saxon history than my already limited knowledge. This book won't do justice to such a terrifying and inspiring era but it's a start.

5) A Game of Thrones, George R. R. Martin

"Summers span decades. Winter can last a lifetime. And the struggle for the Iron Throne has begun.

As Warden of the north, Lord Eddard Stark counts it a curse when King Robert bestows on him the office of the Hand. His honour weighs him down at court where a true man does what he will, not what he must … and a dead enemy is a thing of beauty.

The old gods have no power in the south, Stark’s family is split and there is treachery at court. Worse, the vengeance-mad heir of the deposed Dragon King has grown to maturity in exile in the Free Cities. He claims the Iron Throne."

This was previously bought but I'm starting it over the Christmas holidays in preparation of studying it in my Arthurian Literature module. Exciting right? If I had my way, I would have read this popular series alongside the tv show in the summer but my university lecturers have other plans and to be honest, I wouldn't mind being immersed in another medieval world now that The Last Kingdom is over.


That's all from me now. Let's see how many of these I can actually finish in the holidays whilst battling with my university reading list.

What books have you bought recently and what books are you going to be reading during the festive break?

20 Things To Do In My 20s

I've hit the dreaded digits today. I'll admit I wasn't looking forward to turning 20 just because it marked the end of my teenage-hood and the time for me to start adulting. The expectations of responsibility is a horrifying prospect and I basically don't want to grow up. But...some of my friends who have already turned 20 told me that stepping up to the big 2 and 0 is the start of a decade of big desicions, failed interviews, mistakes and adventures. We get busy trying to achieve our biggest ambition that we start forgetting the little dreams so I've decided to make a list of 20 things I want to do in my 20s.

1) Sleep under the stars.

2) Go on a long drive in the country.

3) Complete my first novel and dedicate it to those who believed in me.

4) Take my family on Umrah (minor pilgrimage to Mecca).

5) Cut my hair short and pray my mum doesn't kill me.

6) Visit Scotland, Ireland and Nottingham (Robin Hood, I'm coming!).

7) Stay at a beach overnight.

8) Read all of Shakespeare's plays ad poems.

9) Learn to ride a horse. (I'll need one if I want to live in the country later).

10) Learn to use a sewing machine so I can make my own Inayah dresses. 

11) Be stranded in the middle of nowhere and successfully get myself home. 

12) Meet my Instagram friends in person! 

13) Live in a suburban house. 

14) Go on a hike in the countryside before dawn and watch the sun rise.

15) Watch an oriental film without subtitles.

16) Hand in an essay 24 hours before the deadline (God please! I already know I'm going to procrastinate with my dissertation...).

17) Learn how to jump start a car (just because). 

18) Enrol on an Arabic course to understand the Qur'an better.

19) Go on a hot air balloon ride.

20) Check off this list and come up with 30 things to do in my 30s.

I hope you enjoyed reading my list of dreams at 20. What top 5 things do you want to accomplish in the next 10 years? 

Until next time.

Rima 

Taking Stock

The last time I blogged was a month ago. I'm awful at making promises I know. I'm off from university for a week so I finally have time to sit down and write for you. My good friend Alliyah from Risk To Write has done a post where you take stock of the things in your life. Considering I've been away for so long I felt a life update was due so here goes:

Reading: Midnight's Children, A Simple Story, The Romance of the Forest. I'm still halfway through the first book even though I studied it a few weeks back at university (I know, I'm that bad of a procrastinator). The other two books I'm studying in my Women's Writing module and it's so interesting to see how female writers were presenting the differences between educated women and those trapped in the domestic sphere.

Watching: My weekly TV schedule these days consist of The Apprentice, Downton Abbey and of course TEEN WOLF. I started watching the latter six weeks ago and I'm currently on season 5, episode 4. I love how every episode is always thrilling, hilarious and epic. To this date I don't think I've been satisfied with watching one episode before I fell asleep; that's how good the cliffhangers are! And Downton Abbey. Oh dear. I was shocked after discovering that last Sunday aired the penultimate episode and there's going to be a hiatus before the Christmas special because I was thinking "Was that it?" It seemed the whole season was burdened with a row over the village hospital and tiny squabbles. There were no important character developments besides Daisy and Mr Mosely passing their exams. Having said that the last half of the penultimate episode was really enjoyable especially when Lady Mary broke down and confessed why she couldn't marry Henry.

Buying: My friends still ridicule me for spending near £110 on two midi dresses and trousers at Inayah. I honestly didn't know that you could find more modest dresses and trousers in Western stores like ASOS, Forever 21 and even Primark so I am hitting my head against the wall. However, I can't wait to go shopping soon because I am in need of warmer winter clothes.

Listening: Some inspirational, thought-provoking lectures on the impact of colonialization held at my university.

Feeling: Urm not too great to be honest. I have so many things riding on this year and the pressure is real.

Planning: My next blog on the lack of 'people of colour' in Young Adult literature and my feelings on being an Asian Muslim and writing for a career, (look out for it in two weeks time!)

Wishing: I had a novel idea because while I do post prose poetry on Instagram I can't help feeling I'm wasting time and just want to be working on long story in my free time.

Enjoying: Reading texts for 'Women Writing', 'Postcolonial and Global Literatures' and 'Victorian Fictions', stimulating seminar discussions, my amazing, intelligent and sometimes crazy friends, and the support of my family.

Eating: As healthy as possible whilst being Asian and living with a mother who believes in eating at least one meal of rice and curry every day.

Hoping: To pass my theory and driving test by the end of this year (started learning two years ago!). To get an overall First in second year of university. To be selected for a writing internship.

Thinking: Of how I'm going to finish reading four books for next week, catch up on six unfinished novels and revise my theory test all in one week.

Lacking: The motivation to exercise, the ability to procrastinate and the determination to pursue my dreams when people around me think I'm not being practical.

Trying: To make everyone around me happy.

Drinking: Green tea, lemon-infused water and tea. My doctor has reprimanded me for lowering my vitamin D and Iron levels again which I admit I had stopped taking my supplements out of pure laziness but apparently I don't drink enough water which I think is a load of BS. They obviously haven't seen the number of visits I make to the 'ladies' in a day!

Wanting: To be gaining experience at a writing internship placement to show my family that getting a PGC and teaching is not the only employment for Literature graduates.

Cooking: Thankfully since my mum has been back from Bangladesh I've not had to cook as intensely as I did during last summer. However when my siblings are bored of Asian food, she forces me to whip up a pasta dish.

Deciding: To get off my butt and immersing myself in university this year in terms by attending more extra curricular lectures and activities. Second year has come too quickly.

Wearing: My comfortable (and ridiculously expensive) midi dresses or ethnic tunics paired with simple trousers or leggings. Colder weather has made me bury myself in layers and layers which may lead me to look like an Inuit but at least I'm warm!

Needing: To finish this blog as soon as possible and get back to reading. I have three assignments due next week and if I don't start now, it's not going to look pretty.

What have you guys been up to? Do you relate to any of the above things?

Please let me know I'm not the only procrastinating sorry mess of a university student.

Red Queen, Victoria Aveyard | Book Review

Hello blogosphere! *virtually waves excitedly* I've missed you. I haven't had the time to sit down and review all the wonderfully amazing books I've read in the past one and half month and for that, I'm sorry. But I'm here now and boy have I got a diamond to rave about today. The Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard is a highly acclaimed book to grace the Young Adult literature market and it didn't fail to impress me.

It tells the story of Mare Barrow, a Red living in a world ruled by Silvers who exclusively posses supernatural abilities. But Mare discovers she may be more Silver than she'd like to think bringing her before the Silver court where she is hidden in plain sight. This sparks her determination to fight the regime that has harmed those she loves from the inside but Mare is also involved in a game of love and betrayal.

I will shamefully admit that when I saw its ridiculously photogenic cover everywhere on Instagram, I did roll my eyes thinking: 'Oh, here we go again, another Divergent/Hunger Games concept. I then bought the book to discover what all the hype was believing it would be a 'meh' read and it just stood on my shelf looking pretty, occasionally pulled it out for booktags on Instagram.

One day, I needed relief from my university reading (I'm reading Charles Dickens' Bleak House and is it me or is it very dry?) and thought I would reward myself for beginning my university's reading list (yes, the situation is that bad) and started Red Queen. The opening paragraph set the tone of the book perfectly:

'I hate first Friday. It makes the village crowded, and now, in the heat of high summer, that's the last thing anyone wants. From my place in the shade it isn't so bad, but the stink of bodies, all sweating with the morning work, is enough to make milk curdle. The air shimmers with heat and humidity, and even the puddles from yesterday's storm are hot, swirling with rainbow streaks of oil and grease.'

Doesn't that sound busy and dirty and beautiful? Suddenly, all I wished for with my imaginary, red Dorothy heels is to click them together and wish to live in this vibrant setting.

When I was allowed to reward myself with Red Queen again, I immediately dived in. The first few chapters where Mare describes the Stilts aka the village for the Reds, I did cringe at the similarities between that and Katniss' home in District 12 in The Hunger Games. Poverty, guards, wealthy oppressors... ring any bells? But where Aveyard saves it is with the Scarlet Guards' video broadcast on page 36:

'Until you recognise us as human, as equal, the fight will be at your door. Not on a battlefield but in your cities... You don't see us, and so we are everywhere.'

Brrr, this part gave me the goosebumps.

I like to make notes of epic moments in a book if I'm reading a hard copy and Red Queen certainly did not fall short on them. On page 190, you witness the planning of the revolution (and a major shocker that I couldn't believe was true) and I remember thinking, 'this must have been how the likes of Lenin have felt when planning their individual revolutions.' I didn't like that it involved betrayal, lying and honestly felt quite uncomfortable but I also knew that this was the right thing to do. As a society, we encourage our people to fight against oppression in whatever form that is but it's all well just saying it when the true bravery is being strong enough to enforce it yourself. That's what Mare taught me. She was definitely an inspiring protagonist which I thank Aveyard for *virtual applauding noises are heard* but I would also like to think that YA authors are starting to realise that being able to decide between two hot guys is not the only way to show a protagonist is independent.

This was another book where the protagonist's relationship with their family is genuine and you don't feel it has been created for the sake of it. I almost cried at the death of a family member who will not be named for obvious reasons but oh my gosh, I choked up. I kept saying, 'it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not FAIR.' You're shown why the revolution is necessary (even if you were warming to the Silver Princes Cal and Maven which I totally was) and consequently, you notice a similar realisation in Mare and it is a beautiful change.

A lot of people on Instagram and Goodreads spoke of the oh my God Plot Twist in Red Queen and oh. my. God. I did not see that coming. Like I actually closed the book, shook it a couple of times to check if it was broken, opened it again to that awful page and NO. It was still there! Why Victoria? Why did you do this to my heart? Why? I can't say anymore because a) my heart is still healing and b) you might hate me if you're interested in reading this beauty.

Finally, I love many things about this book and let's be honest Cal is way up there at Number 01. I don't want this review to be about which guy is hotter in this book because I believe Red Queen is far more focused on other themes and for that my heart does little dances. I especially love this sentence on page 215 where Mare realises that:

'This world is Silver, but it is also grey. There is no black-and-white.'

BOOM. How epic did that sound! And how true is it? Argh I'm so excited for the sequel Glass Sword to come out in February 2016. I can't wait to find out how Mare expands the revolution and defeats her enemies. The world may be Silver but Mare will no longer accept that.

I'm going to leave you guys here because writing this review has made me itch to read Red Queen all over again and I can't. Okay maybe a chapter...

*** I want to hear from you! Have you read Red Queen or would you like to? Have you ever read a book that you scoffed at but it turned out to be amazing? More importantly, are you Team Cal or Team Maven? Comment below people. ***  



Love, Rosie Movie Review

I've been dying to watch this movie for soooo long and finally came across it today. Guys, it was amazing. I need to fan-girl for a day or two or else I'm going to burst with giddiness.

Love, Rosie is about 18 years old Alex and Rosie who are best friends but obviously have feelings for each other. After a drunken kiss which Rosie forgets, the pair work hard to occupy themselves with other people, making mistakes and missing each other. The whole thing is bittersweet as you witness their journey to finding each other again.

If my synopsis hasn't forced you to rent the DVD then here are 5 reasons why you should watch what I am now calling my favourite romcom of 2015. Enjoy!

Love, Rosie trailer

1) Alex is played by the one and only Mr Sam Claflin:

Yes, you heard me right. Pick your tongue up from the floor. Sam Claflin does an awesome performance in Love, Rosie. He's British, his hair is gorgeously unruly, his smiles melt butter, and HE'S SAM CLAFLIN!!! I saw him in Hunger Games: catching Fire as Finnick Odair and he quickly became a favourite actor of mine.

2) Lily Collins as Rosie is UH-MAY-ZING:

I apologise for spelling 'amazing' wrong but I had to emphasise how brilliant my girl is. Besides the movies, Abduction and maybe Mirror Mirror (because I watched that on a plane in 2011 so need to re-watch it) Lily Collins is such a good actress. She plays her roles so naturally and perfectly that you almost start believing that they are a part of her as an actress. Also, both Alex and Rosie depict a pair of teenagers so well: they party hard, swear like crazy and make STUPID decisions. Makes me love and hate being a teenager! :D

3) It's a long, slow romance:

You know those romcoms where you see its 1:59 minutes long so technically two hours? I love those kind of romcoms, or even movies, because hopefully it indicates that they'll do justice to the plot and that we get to see more sweet moments. The time span in the movie is twelve years and Alex and Rosie's lives are played out so that it does feel like twelve years of them missing each other passes by.

4) Great lessons:

I love a movie with an inspiring message. "There's nothing you can't do if you put your mind to it" is beating in my head which Rosie's dad said to her regarding her dream to open a hotel. Love, Rosie also showed how you can achieve your dreams even if LIFE comes in the way and wrecks the steps towards it. Rosie spends several years at home alone whilst Alex is studying in Boston but she makes the most of it and later admits appreciating what happened to her.

5) It will make you read the book:

I used to be a strict 'don't-watch-the-movie-before-the-book' person because the movies always put me off. However I recently watched The Maze Runner and it's made me excited to read the books because of the plot twist at the end. Similarly, Love, Rosie was beautifully portrayed on the screen and now all I want to do is read the book and experience Alex and Rosie's story all over again.

Thanks for reading guys. Achieve your dreams like Rosie.
X

***I will add a review of the book once I've read it***

The Fault In Our Stars | Book & Movie Review

*** UPDATE: MOVIE REVIEW OF THE FAULT IN OUR STARS IS ATTACHED BELOW***

I finished reading The Fault In Our Stars at exactly 13:00 today and with tears drying on my glasses, I proceeded to thanking John Green via Twitter for his God-given talent. The tweets that followed later were a series of exclamations and statements of denial resembling that of a drunk person but I'm fine now. I think.

The Fault In Our Stars depicts the life of 16 year old Hazel Grace Lancaster who suffers from terminal cancer and meets Augustus Waters at Cancer Kids Support Group in a delicious plot twist. She isn't depressed that she is dying. Rather, she lives to remind us that we all live to impress the universe before we die but it is actually the universe that wants to be noticed. This book will make you laugh, cry and then come back for more. Check out my review below. 

***Disclaimer: The following review might blur the lines between fiction and reality but I don't care. My English lecturers are not reading this.***

I've heard SO much about this book that I was frightened that I would hate it. I'm someone who doesn't like spoilers and although I've seen the actors who play Augustus and Hazel plastered on buses and underground stations (and in the Divergent movie), I tried to forget their faces whilst reading this (with varying degrees of success). I admit, I found the opening of The Fault In Our Stars a little boring because it was how I would expect a typical cancer story to open: Hazel attending a cancer support group. But then Augustus' character was introduced and they both shared a very witty conversation about Jesus and young love and cigarettes and I instantly knew I would enjoy this. 

In fact besides the opening, I don't think I can fault this book in any way. The writing isn't perfect but that didn't matter with this book. I was thrown away by the simplicity of the plot, the dynamic between the characters and the sheer intellect Augustus and Hazel exhibit. As I was reading, I folded the corners of pages which particularly stuck out for me and I figured the only way that I could do justice to John Green is to quote from his masterpiece.

'Everyone in this tale has a rock-solid hamartia: hers, that she is so sick; yours, that you are so well. Were she better or you sicker, then the stars would not be so terribly crossed, but it is the nature of stars to cross, and never was Shakespeare more wrong than when he has Cassius note, "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars / But in our selves." '

 I absolutely loved this analogy in the letter which an author sends to Augustus. Not only does it refer to the title of the book but it also includes one of my favourite quotes from Shakespeare's play Julius Caesar. I studied it this year at university and it's interesting how I agreed then that indeed it is man's fault for the hamartia (fatal flaw) that befall upon him, not some twisted fate. But when reading The Fault In Our Stars, I shook my head furiously whenever Augustus or Isaac (his friend) beat themselves up about their illnesses because it was pre-destined by a power superior to them.

'"When the scientists of the future show up at my house with robot eyes and they tell me to try them on, I will tell the scientists to screw off, because I do not want to see a world without him."'

Again, another beautiful quote. This is from Isaac's eulogy for Augustus and was what did it for me before I started crying. My heart was aching already when I discovered the truth about Augustus seven chapters before but the way Isaac delivered his speech was heartbreaking. He would state how Augustus talked so much or was so vain about his looks but the fact was that those attributes made him a beautiful person. John Green is fantastic at depicting a sad scene whilst effortlessly injecting humour so that you're bawling your eyes out and choking on the tears simultaneously. I know, I looked a right mess. 

Also, the book was structured really beautifully. After a certain character's death, I felt as though John Green would conclude the story with, 'My old man. He always knew just what to say.' However I was surprised (and also not surprised) that he continued depicting Hazel's life for another three chapters because I thought he would perhaps mirror the fictional author in the story who didn't finish his story An Imperial Affliction. But then again, I wasn't surprised because in doing so, John Green is demonstrating how people die and others continue living. That is one of Hazel's concerns, that her parents will give up living when she eventually dies and this is where my final quote stems from:

'"I am dying, Mom. I am going to die and leave you here alone and you won't have a me to hover around and you won't be a mother anymore, and I'm sorry, but I can't do anything about it, okay?!"'

This was the second scene to make me a cry again because it reveals how frustrated Hazel is about the impact her death will have on her parents. It was amazing to read that because while she has every right to care about herself, her character isn't self-absorbed with her cancer. I haven't read many cancer stories but I once read a YA book on self-harming called Red Tears and it was just awful and pathetic.

This was the first book I have ever read of John Green's and I'm so happy that it was everything I expected it to be. It's not a typical YA book consisting of action and supernatural elements but its unique in it's own way. Less things happen in this book yet I still managed to finish it in two sittings within 24 hours so that's a clear indication of its flowing narrative. And to simply call it a 'cancer story' is unfair because Hazel exists to resist the stereotypes cancer patients burden themselves or are burdened with. She believes that cancer is merely a side effect of dying and that it is up to the universe who dies and in what way. The fault in Hazel and Augustus' stars is that their fates are reversed and the universe is responsible for such elegance. Her self reflection and discoveries were such inspiring lessons for me and I will leave you with my favourite one:

'"Sometimes it seems the universe wants to be noticed."'

***Have you read The Fault In Our Stars? What's your favourite line? Let me know in the comments below.***

MOVIE TIME!!!

Okay, so I watched the movie last night and I'm emotional all over again! I loved the adaptation directed by Josh Boone. He is one lucky guy to have been able to work with the likes of Shailene Woodley, Ansel Elgort and Nat Wollf who play Hazel Grace, Augustus Waters and Isaac respectively. Not because they're such famous actors but because they bring a level of fresh acting to the screen. I'm going to list the highlights of this movie and also some things I wish Josh Boone had avoided doing or brought from the book.

Yay bits:

1) Hazel and Augustus don't stop smiling! - I swear, I couldn't stop grinning throughout the first half of the movie. The chemistry between the two lead characters was even better in the movie. Their dialogue felt very natural and awkward at the same time because the two played off each other very well but it was also very cute to watch moments where Augustus asked Hazel to watch a movie and she didn't hear so she said 'what?' to which he replied 'hmm?' Awrh! (Also, who agrees that Augustus' grin is heartbreaking? I do!)Totally agreed with Hazel's mum when she said the two 'are so adorable' because it really was hilarious watching their relationship blossom from friends to star-crossed lovers.

2) The extra features on the movie screen - I loved how Josh Boone visibly displays Augustus and Hazel's text conversations on the screen in a similar font to the one on the book cover. This movie was basically about a girl and her iphone which I found hilarious because that's me and my instagram account! >.<

3) The correct moments/quotes were adapted - The first conversation between Augustus and Hazel about his cigarettes and Monica and Isaac's relationship were perfectly portrayed. Their conversation about An Imperial Affliction was also spot on and if possible even more awkward since Isaac's tantrum over Monica's breakup acted as the backdrop. Amsterdam was beautifully portrayed and it's now one of my top five places to visit in Europe. Also, I'm very happy that the quotes about infinity, Isaac's eyes, oblivion, Augustus' cigarettes, not being a mother were perfectly expressed because they make the movie.

Nay bits:

1) I want a FAT Peter Van Houten and other things! - Having praised Josh Boone's loyalty to John Green's book, there are some moments which I really really really wish he would have included but didn't. Biggest thing (and silliest) which peeved me off was that Peter Van Houten was not a fat guy. Don't get me wrong, I liked Willem Dafoe in Spider Man and he sure looked ugly and was ridiculous in the movie but he just wasn't fat! Also, I missed when Hazel's dad says that 'sometimes the universe wants to be noticed'. :'(

2) I didn't cry as much - I know this is a silly thing to want but after blubbering when I read the book, I expected the same from the movie. I've already mentioned above the two moments in the book which made me cry but I felt that Isaac's eulogy scene was shortened too much and Hazel's scene with her parents should have been after Augustus' death like in the book. That way, Hazel's frustration about the impact her death will have on those around her is further emphasised because Augustus' death wrecked her. However, I did have tears forming ever since Augustus' secret was revealed and they eventually fell as she read his eulogy for her.

I can't come up with anything else bad about the movie. It was a very good adaptation: witty, hilarious, sweet, awkward, inspiring and heart breaking. I fan-girled for a few hours after on instagram and am officially an Ansel Elgort fan. Shailene Woodley did another stellar performance as usual and she's my ultimate girl crush.

Until next time peeps. X

From Young Adult to Postcolonial? | My Reading Journey

"There is no reason why the same man should like the same books at eighteen and at forty-eight."

- Ezra Pound

In celebration of the last day of June (seriously, how quick did that go!), I've taken inspiration from the blog's quote of the month to think about how my reading tastes have changed over the years.

Primary school: 5-11 years old

Sadly, I can't remember what the first book I ever read or read independently was called. That would have been precious right? What I can remember is being read the Spot the Dog series every day before home-time by my favourite teacher, Tony. I was five then. I quickly began a 'healthy' appetite of reading as my literacy skills developed. I visited the local library every fortnight with my older sister and brother and together we would drag heavy bags of books back home.

As I read more, I fell in love with the writing, the world which the author created and the way the author used words to entice me into it. It was Jacqueline Wilson who first inspired me to become a writer at the age of ten. I know a lot of people say that she only writes about broken homes and relationships but coming from a background where I had a mother, a father, siblings, friends and knowing that I was loved, Jacqueline Wilson's stories made me appreciate what I had. It also prepared me for secondary school where I met people whose parents were separated or divorced. When Little Darlings (pictured above) came out in 2010, I went to a signing to finally meet and thank her.

I also became a fan of Daisy Meadows' Rainbow Magic stories. My favourite fairy was Ruby the Red Fairy and my gosh, I would squabble with my friends if they said they were 'her' too. You know that stage in a girl's life where she likes something pretty and becomes obsessed with anything related to it? Yeah, I went through that... Lastly I began the Harry Potter series and loved J.K. Rowling's brain. I'm still on Order of Phoenix however after my Bangladesh copy ripped in half but I've watched the movies except for the last. Please don't hate me; they're on my TBR pile. Honest.

Secondary School & College: 11-18 years old

My love for books was quickly apparent during English lessons and amongst my friends. I did go through a stupid phase in year 8 where I gave up reading for other things but in year 9, I frequented the school library so much that I became a library monitor, hooked my friends up and made the library our lunch-time crib. I remember when The Twilight Saga: New Moon movie came out that I became interested in young adult literature. I read Twilight and instantly became 'Team Edward'. In anticipation for the next movie, I began reading The Vampire Diaries series by L.J. Smith which was also having a tv show in it's name. That was all I needed to officially become a YA fan. Thanks to Goodreads, I can actually keep track of all the YA books I've ever read. Some of my favourite books/series are The Morganville Vampires (Rachel Caine), Shiver (Maggie Stiefvater), The Host (Stephenie Meyer), Graceling (Kristin Cashore) and I Am Number Four (Pittacus Lore). Before leaving school, I donated most of my YA books to the library but Becca Fitzpatrick's Hush Hush series (pictured above) was always pre-ordered on my dad's Amazon account and my sister said she would kill me if I even thought about giving them away.

I joined the book club in year 10 and read Pride and Prejudice for the first time. Mr Darcy is still as lovely in my head as he was then. As well as the classics, I was introduced to books about serious issues or real life events such as Purple Hibiscus (Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche), Chains (Laurie Halse) and Kite Runner. The latter will always hold a special place in my heart because Khaled Hosseini's novel showed me how I could confidently write about my own culture and religion.

Once I hit 16 I think this is when my 'reading for pleasure' began deteriorating. I didn't have as much time besides studying the chunky textbooks and slightly boring literature which all humanitarian students can relate to. Only Frankenstein stood out for me as a beautiful piece of writing by Mary Shelley. The situation became dire because I started reading Hunger Games during my A-level exams. It was such a thrilling read that I almost began to resist the oppressive system that was education.

University: 18+

After finishing my first year of university, I have to say that I'm more impressed with all that I've learnt as an English undergraduate than by the books I've studied. I only have two favourites which are Things Fall Apart (Chinua Achebe) and The Hours (Michael Cunningham). However I made two discoveries: I didn't like all the classics that were out there such as Beowulf, Heart of Darkness, Mrs Dalloway and I definitely enjoyed postcolonial and cultural books.

I've tailored my second year module choices around these discoveries and will hopefully be studying postcolonial literature, women's writing, the legend that is King Arthur and Victorian fiction next year. Studying at university has made me realise that there are so many books that I still have not read. Sometimes I regret reading all those YA books because after a few, the story becomes formulaic so you already know the plot but you're just waiting for the next romantic scene. I wish I had spent more time reading the classics or the less known authors' works on culture and race or even finished the Jane Austen series! But then I remind myself that YA literature hooked me into reading again after a reckless year. They were relatable because I was a teenager but they also inspired me to do more for myself and for that I will cherish my love of YA books. To prove it to myself, soon as university was over, I dove straight into Divergent (Veronica Roth). I was clearly starved of YA because I finished it in two days and wrote a review about it on here.

So, in response to Ezra Pound, I do think reading tastes change over time but they are influenced by the context we live in so our previous tastes ultimately don't leave us. In year 9, I needed a place to escape to and supernatural YA fiction was the perfect option but now I need to raise my awareness of the world and it's long history in order to empower myself and others around me. So I do that and occasionally indulge in a bit of teenage recklessness.

Share me your reading journey! Have you read any of the books I've mentioned?

Have your reading tastes changed or are you loyal to one genre? Let me know in the comments below!

Rima x



In Her Footsteps

I wanted to write this before I left for the airport because I knew I would be an emotional wreck when I returned home. However, I got busy so I'm now writing this as my dad drives us back home down the M4.

My mum is going to Bangladesh today for eight weeks and two days (yes, I'm counting) and she is leaving my eldest sister and me in charge of looking after the house and family. My dad has reassured us that we will be fine while she's gone but it's such a big responsibility.

When I first found out that she was going to Bangladesh, I was in denial and kept telling her, 'You're not going' to which she replied, 'Yes, I am!' But then I had to be practical and started learning how to cook typical Asian dishes once my exams were over. I knew cooking Asian foods would be my biggest obstacle because we're slowly approaching the month of Ramadan and my family (like most) seek comfort food after a day of fasting. Therefore, there were days when my mother shadowed me as I added the garlic or spices after which I would frantically wipe my hands on my apron to scribble this step on a piece of paper. Some days, however, she left me alone in the kitchen to prepare and cook three separate dishes. I'm telling you now that whipping up three individual pasta dishes is easier because the multi-tasking involved cooking curries almost killed me. Thankfully, my mum froze some dishes before she left so all I have to do is defrost them and they're ready to eat!

During the last few weeks, I have had to learn a lot. I've made many notes of recipes and mental reminders and I'm hoping I remember it all. Unfortunately, I have the worst memory ever so I'm praying my brain is screwed on tightly (FYI I did almost put a bottle of oil in the fridge).

There's so much my mum does for us that it would be futile to list (plus, many mothers do the same). That's why it's going to be really hard without her. I haven't stayed away from her for this long, none of my family have. I don't really know how I will cope. During the past few weeks I've wished several times that I could travel to the future when my mum has returned just so I could know how to manage things now. If I had my way, I wouldn't have let her go. My eldest sister was huffing about my mum going but it's easier to comfort someone else. I told her that mum needs a break, that she deserves time to herself. Then she says, 'this is how mum must feel whenever we go on residential' and I realise how true that is. Only difference is that she's going for eight weeks and not a week.

I don't why it's so hard to let go of you mother...

Who will plait your hair when your arms ache from fatigue?

Who will stir the "perfect" amount of sugar into your tea?

Who will clip your nails when you can no longer reach your toes?

Who will bother getting a bowl of Frosties and milk when you're craving a midnight snack?

I don't really do it because you can't. I do it because you did it for me.

I hadn't cried up until now. I was the only one besides my dad who would be available to go to the airport so I knew I was the last to say goodbye. It's so hectic in the airport and when she had to leave for immigration I panicked and started blubbering. My dad didn't let that go on for too long though thankfully because he urged us towards the airport exit. I don't know how the next few weeks will be. I don't know whether I will remember all the things my mum has said I should remember. I don't know whether I will be able to coordinate the things that happen in my family. All I do know is that I will try my best to act in my mother's footsteps.

After God, I devote my life to my mother and father. I try my best to help them, make them laugh, make them proud. It's only recently that my mother and I have become really close. Whenever we're laughing together about something, my younger sister often randomly says, 'amma (mum), lal afa (what she calls me) is your favourite daughter innit?' I always respond that I wasn't always her favourite. You can tell when you live in a big family such as mine whose your mother's favourite and a year ago it certainly wasn't me. But then I learnt how Islam teaches that 'Paradise lies beneath your mother's feet' and that transformed my attitude towards my mother.

I began to change the way I spoke to her. I reminded myself of that teaching whenever I felt like raising my voice. I realised that although it was my life, my parents were responsible for that life so they deserve to be respected irregardless of my rebelling hormones. Because of that teaching, I finally understood why in year 7 my friend was shocked that I had shouted at my mother. I also regretted the time I told my parents that I would visit them in the care home near our house because Islam taught to look after your parents in old age as they did for you. So I honour the upbringing they gave me and treat them with respect. I recognise the sacrifices my mother made to ensure that we were happy and sacrifice my time to revise or study to help her in return. Our relationship isn't perfect (whose is right?), we do argue sometimes but I'm practicing. I will always be practicing.

I don't ever want to be angry and impatient towards her because a mother's grief never goes unanswered. I remember once at an Islamic gathering, a student said how her friend was arguing with her mother and then when her mother asked for water, she refused to bring it because they had just argued and that would be awkward. Shortly after, her sister in law brought water but her mother had passed away. That story serves as a strong reminder whenever I feel too arrogant to forgive my mother or anyone. My mother on the other hand is amazing at forgiving people. She will be annoyed with you one second and offering you a plate of rice with meat the next. No amount of anger could equal to a mother's love.

My mother taught me to love, to laugh and to cry. She taught me how to sacrifice, how to give up, how to dream for something better. The next few weeks will be hard. They will put everything she taught me to the test. I just hope I do half as good a job as she does.

I hope I make her proud, walking in her footsteps. 

 

Don't Appropriate My 'Dress and Trousers'

A new trend in the fashion industry has supposedly emerged called the 'dress over pants'. Kendall Jenner was recently seen sporting a long white tunic over a pair of white trousers and suddenly articles were calling her "excruciatingly cool" and a "pioneer" of the outfit.

The tunic-over-pants actually originates from the shalwar kameez* which Asian women have been wearing for centuries since the Mughal era. They wore them when they first arrived in Europe and America and they wear them to this day. But no one is taking photos of them and praising how "chic" they look. What's more, they can tell you about the humiliation they received in the Western world. How their garments were compared in relation to Western clothing and deemed "backward" or "unfashionable". So do you see how it's wrong to applaud Kendall Jenner's stylist? It's just another example of cultural appropriation existing today: only when a white celebrity wears another culture's clothes, it is deemed a fashion statement.

As a daughter of Bangladeshi migrants, I was brought up wearing shalwar kameezes. My grandmother wore cotton sarees* and after having six children, my mother began to wear printed maxi dresses. But whilst they wore an over-garment when they went outside, I was expected to wear a shalwar kameez. I owned several in different colours, prints and materials.

I slowly began to dislike them when I joined primary school. When there were any school assemblies and we were told to bring in our own clothes, I would be one of the few girls in shalwar kameez whilst the rest wore t-shirts and jeans. My sisters and I were not allowed to wear jeans because they were "tight" and "not cultural". It was only during Eid and Christmas parties at school that I felt I could proudly wear my shalwar kameez - this time a sequined number. But as I grew older and witnessed more of the world, I began to long for t-shirts and jeans. I saw them on my friends and on my teachers, on strangers in the streets and on television actors and asked myself, "Why can't I own a pair?"

I didn't know then that I was being brainwashed into thinking I needed to adopt a certain culture in order to fit in. I didn't know the Western world always had a knack at showing off things they possessed to intimidate its colonies. To intimidate me. They made us realize that we were not "white" and we will never be regardless of our expensive polo shirts from Oxford Street.

When my parents eventually allowed me to buy two pairs of straight-cut jeans and three t-shirts from Asda for my residential trip in year 6, I was ecstatic. I would finally look like the other girls! During the next five days, I acted as though I had always worn t-shirts and jeans. The reality hit me when a week later I was dragging my feet to my grandmother's house in a black shalwar kameez with printed roses. Looking back, I wish I could tell myself all the things I now know about my culture:

"To my twelve year old self,

Hold your head up high when you wear your dress over your trousers.

Be proud that whilst you live in one country, your mother's country still welcomes you.

Look how beautifully your shalwar matches your kameez, how the chador hangs on your shoulders and rests on your chest in an embrace.

It isn't a prison. It is freedom."

I'm 19 now and I still wear shalwar kameezes at home. I love them. They are a part of my identity. Over the years, I have come up with several styles. I can present myself in a shalwar kameez with a chador* flung across my chest before my parents and siblings, or throw the chador quickly around my head before opening the front door, or I can wrap it neatly around my neck before greeting guests. I no longer desire t-shirts and jeans because, for me, they symbolize the power Western culture held over my origins as a British-Bangladeshi.

Therefore it is unfair that Kendall Jenner is able to wear an outfit and be praised for her ingenuity when Asian women have been fighting for this right for decades. The unjust glamorisation of diverse cultures by Westerners is worryingly abundant, adopting clothing, hairstyles, speech and art, and Kendall Jenner is a representation of this insecure world. They compared my culture in relation to theirs before I was even born. And when I was, they didn't see a British girl wearing a shalwar kameez, they saw a brown girl peculiarly wearing a dress over trousers. This is why I ask them not to appropriate a culture they were initially ignorant to accept.

*** Glosses:

- shalwar kameez: outfit made up of a tunic and trouser

- saree: 5-8 meters of material wrapped around the waist with one end draped over the shoulder

- chador: piece of cloth matching a shalwar kameez, typically known as dupatta